Autism is our specialism, especially Paula’s and she loves everything about how autistic minds work, especially in an unforgiving, inaccessible world. Why? Because of our own children, Tim and Bex, now both in their 20’s. Yes, they survived babyhood, toddlers, education, adolescence and they are now adults. Yes, we survived parenting, despite parent blaming, both parents working and the teenage years.
Tim was our first proper introduction into autism. Tim was diagnosed at 5 years old, so we have lived, slept, played, even breathed autism, we witnessed how he impacted on the world and how the world did its best to nobble him. With Tim, we had to be incredibly creative. Paula was amazed that she had the skills to control a class, even a whole school, but with Tim, nothing worked. He brought her to her knees regularly. However, as parents, we were one of the lucky ones, thanks to Autism West Midlands we were introduced to The Low Arousal Approach, we became a team, and everything changed.
Then at 16 years old Bex was diagnosed. We were surprised; we thought she was quirky, personable and to be honest, just like Paula. She had coped through primary school, but secondary was more of a struggle.
The two diagnoses were so different, Tim’s although a relief, was devastating, it brought grief at the loss of our dreams for him, we felt it was almost a death sentence, writing off his future. Bex’s however, changed nothing in her life, she was the same amazing young woman as she had and will always be. It was just an answer to a question and the key to supporting her needs. Times had changed, understanding had changed, and we had changed. The diagnostic processes have clearly shaped who we are, how we support people and why we emphasise the importance acceptance.
Parenting Tim and Bex has been a real challenge, especially when our own needs were a significant factor, and it wasn’t made any easier by the immense culture of parent blaming that exists. When we looked for help, we were greeted by Parenting Courses, our children were required to fit in, whatever it took and we became very aware of the toxic, damaging culture.
After Bex’s diagnosis Paula began her own journey of self -discovery, she began to realise that she was probably autistic too, plus she had many traits of ADHD. She realised how much she had masked her way through life. She realised that we were all a bit unique, our brains seemed to work differently to the world, and we concluded that we were all most likely neurodivergent.
Paula decided that no parent should ever feel as alone as we did, no parent should ever feel as overwhelmed as we did, and no parent should ever feel as lost as we did. This became her why, her motivation and her reason for her work.
Autistic Families is specific course for autistic parents of autistic children. Using the Live WELL formula, you can support the individuals & families to live a life that suits their situation. Keeping well-being as a priority, supporting reduced demands and taking stock of energy levels you will create a life that brings joy and gratitude.
Autistic Families is a package of 6 to 8 weeks and can be applied to all age groups, independently or in groups.